I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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