you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
