we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
