Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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