i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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