I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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