they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
