I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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