Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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