OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
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I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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