i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
