Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
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hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
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