i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
