we made out on top of his cat.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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