yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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