Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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