i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
