you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
