I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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