Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
