when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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