For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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