i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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