Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize