i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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