8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
