Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize