I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
