I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
