worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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