I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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