I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I will be naked everywhere
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
