all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
