you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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