You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize