I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
