We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize