North Korea, Best Korea!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
