What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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