even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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