I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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