you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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