Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
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In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
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Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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