wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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