you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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