I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
