The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize