Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
