..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
