I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza