Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
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If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.