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• (631): View more from New York

  Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.

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• (353): View more from

  When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head

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• (845): View more from New York

  I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  critical mistake not lubing the nipples

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (951): View more from California

  Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."

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