Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
and you fell through a lawn chair
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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