thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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