I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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