What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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