So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
