Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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