oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
