Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
