Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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