i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
