she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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