the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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