I molested 6 butterflies tonight
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
