Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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